how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize