I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize