I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize