Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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