I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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