She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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