fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
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the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be still, my beating vagina.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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