I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize