Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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