Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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