nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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