if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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