Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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