dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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