What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize