he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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