My friends, they love my intelligence
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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