Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Moan for me like Helen Keller

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  (347): Moan for me like Helen Keller http://tfl.nu/vo5w
  Replies (33) Good night (2558) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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  (818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw
  Replies (18) Good night (3609) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.

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  (917): we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender. http://tfl.nu/r1fg
  Replies (24) Good night (1749) Bad night (10998) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number

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  (224): he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number http://tfl.nu/3iey
  Replies (23) Good night (838) Bad night (5766)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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  (413): thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover... http://tfl.nu/lbcp
  Replies (7) Good night (951) Bad night (3148) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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  (917): After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/hjie
  Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (1503) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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  (541): Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached. http://tfl.nu/gtou
  Replies (3) Good night (1507) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

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  (949): I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer. http://tfl.nu/vxsa
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy

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  (864): turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy http://tfl.nu/uoz8
  Replies (3) Good night (1034) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

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  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (722) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.

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  (330): The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg. http://tfl.nu/v4p7
  Replies (3) Good night (1198) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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  (719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could. http://tfl.nu/sgv5
  Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.

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  (210): Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course. http://tfl.nu/nbyi
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (277)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

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  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me

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  (425): I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me http://tfl.nu/4rz8
  Replies (4) Good night (531) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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