Already got asked if we're dating
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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