Kiss
Puke
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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