trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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