I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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