In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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