i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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