He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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