We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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