thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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