i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize