Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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