"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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