why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize