is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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