so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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