i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
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He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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