So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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