She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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