i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize