Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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