The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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