oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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