i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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