Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love you.
Bad choice
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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