I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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