Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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