im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize