her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Are my feet made of real feet?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize