I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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