He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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