roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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