Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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