new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize